I can't describe the feeling's I have for you, I don't think it's love, it's something else, the felling that wanna to travel the world with you, just you and me, on a adventure, it could be somewhere faraway, or somewhere very near, I don't really care where it is, or just sit on a comfy couch in a blanket and look into your eye's forever, I don't think I would ever get tired, or a hug, your hug's could fix anything, having your arm's around me and you holding me tight against your chest, so that I can fell the beat of your heart, the best sound of all, I could listen to it forever I think, maybe you'll be a lover, or just a amazing friend, it's really to soon to tell, but all I know for sure is, The first time you hugged me I felt happier and safer then I've felt in a very long time, and I hope you stay around for a while, because people like you don't show up very often,

"I want to travel. I want to see the world and leave a mark. I want to leave home with nothing but a map and a backpack and go to places nobody’s ever been. I want to explore ancient ruins and spend a night in a rainforest, I want to talk to strangers, learn new languages and save a couple lives along the way. I want to be “that girl” that was crazy enough to go out on her own and do it all. I want to be remarkable, breathtaking and insane in all the best ways. I want to be anything but ordinary, because the idea of leaving the world without making a difference scares the shit out of me."

Author unknown

"I want to go, I want to go far away, I want to start over, I want to choose my own path, I have nothing keeping me here anymore, I feel like i'm floating, I want to go where the wind takes me, I want to be happy, I wanna find my home."

Author unknown 

“You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.”

My new hair! I love it so much <3 

it toke many hours of work, 7 hours last week from a very patient lovely friend of mine, then my mom put in 4 hours one night, and then finally this morning me and my mommy finished them of with a final 2 hours,  

So in total it 13 hours for 42 dreads, it was a but load of work and I could not of done it alone, 

my devise,  if your ever planing to get dreads, plan a dread making part, you supply the beer and I'm sure everyone would be willing to pitch in on a couple dreads, and it'll make it much more fun, and it will go a lot faster

One day well travel through the mountains well drive for miles just you and me and the view well go camping and have fires, and talk all night, well see new things and learn about ourselves and each other, well kiss, cuddle  and have the sweetest sex in the world, but most of all well fall in love, so far that well never get out, and it will be so scary, that moment when you realize, you would do anything and everything for them, without even blinking an eye 

this is true love, it might not last for ever, and it doesn't have to  but for the moment that you have it enjoy it, don't think about anything else, just the love for each other.

and one day I will have this with you, and it will be truly amazing <3

Reasons why people should hold hands.

Over the years I have found that the fastest, most meaningful way to show you’ve got somebody’s back and are showing them some support is by grabbing hold of their hand. The physical contact is almost as reassuring as a hug, but it’s much more discrete, portable and dynamic. And, it’s not something that happens every day, so it displays caring that’s a little deeper and a little more meaningful whether it’s done romantically or in a Platonic way.

1. Less Stress! There was a study involving subjecting 16 happily married women to stressful situations while monitoring their brain activity with an F.M.R.I machine. After administering an electric shock to each woman, they measured the resulting activity in the stress response area of her brains. Then repeated the shock while the women held a stranger’s hand. And then again while holding her husband’s hand.
The results showed less activity in the stress-related areas of the women’s brains even while holding a stranger’s hand, and a whole lot less stress when they held their hubby’s hand. So it appears to make us feel less stressed because it actually does make us less stressed! If happy couples do more hand-holding, and hand-holding reduces stress, and less stress leads to better health, then it can only be assumed that happy marriages lead to better health, right?

2.) It says “I love you” or at the very least “I like you” without words.Because handholding is often associated with happy memories of parents or guardians looking after children out of love, it is associated with loving a person. When you’re a child, your love for your parents tends to be one of the strongest feelings of love you’ve experienced in your young life. It is no wonder then that when these children grow up, they use this similar loving act in romantic contexts.
Handholding is an expression of closeness and connection, allowing someone in through your personal boundaries, which are important factors in love.

3.) Touch intensifies your feelings for one another. Not only is handholding an expression of closeness that says “I like you”, but it also intensifies how much you like a person. 
When there is more physical intimacy there are better relationships.

4.) It says “you’re not alone”, “you’re accepted”, “you belong”. You hold someone’s hand when you want them to keep up with you as you urge them to follow, or to ensure you stick together in a crowd. You do it to connect with someone in a moment in time so that you feel that in spite of experiencing an event in our own separate bodies, you are sharing this moment together. Handholding is an act of togetherness.

It can give feelings of comfort, protection and safety as well. When we’re young, we often associate handholding with the protective action of a parent looking after us as we cross the road, or as we walk through busy areas. Holding hands represents “I’m holding onto you so that I’ll keep you safe from getting lost or getting hurt”.
Like a person who needs to be led through the dark, it represents someone being there to guide you if you ever need someone to lean on. Sometimes we need a hand to help steady ourselves as we climb through the rocky terrain of life, or to help us balance as we attempt new things. We’re comforted to have someone offer a helping hand to catch us or at least help pull us up if we fall along the way. Being in “good hands”. That is part of what handholding represents.

5.) It fulfils the basic human need for touch, which makes us feel good. The need to touch other members of your species is ingrained into us genetically. Studies have shown that touch is essential for good physical and mental health. Lack of demonstrative touch-related love has been found to be related to failure to thrive or mature psychologically in babies. Touch releases endorphin-like feel-good chemicals. Bottom-line: touch makes us feel good. Handholding therefore does too.

So the next time your loved one is upset—a sad movie, friend drama, work stress, an argument with you—for whatever reason, consider some quality hand-holding time. How To Date In The Present

Just squeeze a little squeeze into your daily routine: across the table hand-holding while the two of you are eating, while you’re in the car, at church, while you’re watching TV, or just while you’re walking somewhere together. It’s good for your relationship and your health.

People always think that when you sleep together, there’s always something that is happening in between the sheets and the bed. But let me tell you, It’s not always like that. The feeling of actually hugging each other until you fall asleep, the warmth of each other’s breath, and the total happiness in the morning when you wake up right beside him. Everything may sound too good to be true, but sometimes it takes a lot of responsibility and love to be able to be as wholesome as possible. Sleeping with your special someone is one of the most heartwarming experiences you’ll ever have. No nothing, simply hugging and smiling yourself to sleep.

well i'm back from my travels, i've been in nelson for the past 2 week's visiting all of the lovely friends i know up there, i live in mission bc and that's a 5 day 9 hour walk 7 hour drive 81$ bus ticket or a 100$ flight, so because of that,  i don't get to go to nelson very much, and that make's my life a pretty lonely place, as all my good friend's live oh so fear away from me :(
that's just un unfortunate fact that i have come to terms with over time, and every day is one day closer to the day that i move out on my own and move to nelson (: ( i'm 16 and a half and plan to move out at 17 and a half)

but what i was geting to was, i met someone special when i was in nelson, he's a friend of a friend, we met at starbelly, and it just felt right, i had never expertness anything like it, it was amazing <3
i've never had a crush on someone that fast, and the for the rest of my trip we hangout all most everyday and then i had to go home, and then i got home i had a message from him saying he liked me, and i like him to,

but i'm a little stuck right now,
#1 question should i just try to run for it when i have the chance? do long distance relationships ever workout?
#2 he's a year and a half younger then me, is that weird? is that bad?  (it's not that he look's younger or anything he's a foot and a half taler the me, so that's not really the problem, i just don't know about that, i've only ever liked people that are older then me :\

ya i'm gonna be up all night again thinking........

I want to travel. I want to see the world and leave a mark. I want to leave home with nothing but a map and a polaroid camera and go to places nobody’s ever been. I want to explore ancient ruins and spend a night in a medieval castle. I want to talk to strangers, learn new languages and save a couple lives along the way. I want to be “that girl” that was crazy enough to go out on her own and do it all. I want to be remarkable, breathtaking and insane in all the best ways. I want to be anything but ordinary, because the idea of leaving the world without making a difference scares the shit out of me. 

You came and brought music to my soul
Inspired me to the very core
You touched me well
No one has been before

Now there’s a reason to wake up each day
I thank the Lord for sending you my way
Now I am whole, a lucky soul
I wanna thank you for your love
Thank you
Thank you for your love

Now looking back all the pain
No more dark clouds
No more rain
Thank you

Thank you for your love. - dimsum

“I’m so lucky to have you. You are by far the best blessing God has ever given me and I’m so happy that he gave you to me to love. Even though I don’t deserve all that you are to me and all that you do for me, I want you to know that I am so very grateful for you. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful memories we have shared: all the smiles, laughter and even the tears. Loving you has made my life come alive. Some people go through life and never live it: I mean REALLY live it. But I thank God that He let me really live my life to the fullest by giving me you. You light up my world and show me things I never dreamed I’d see. Thank you for all that you do for me and all that you have given me. “

You remind me every day of how much you love me, and I’m always grateful that I’ve found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life. i love you.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there. To serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be; a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger. But when you lock eyes with them, you know that at that very moment they will affect your life in some way.

Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride. It’s not about dwelling on the past. It’s not about loss or defeat. It’s learning, experiencing, and growing. Letting go is to be thankful of themoments that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.  It’s about all that you have and all that you had. It’s the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up.

I don’t wanna walk away so easily

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am

No, I won’t give up
God knows we’re worth it.
I won’t give up on us. - jazon mraz

 i don’t give up easily; I fight for what I want. It takes a lot for me to actually give up on something or someone. I can’t just throw away all the hard work and time I put into it. I can’t just give up because times are hard, especially if that person means so much to me. I keep fighting for what I want until I can’t fight anymore, until giving up is the only option left.

I can’t promise you a perfect relationship without arguments over the littlest things, However, I can promise you as long as you’re trying, I’m staying.

i won’t give up on us.

lately I've been feeling a little disconnected from the world friends, family, myself, i don't really know what is wrong, Maybe i'm just still getting over the loss of my best friend, and i don't really have anyone that close to me anymore, I guess it's just a matter of knowing myself, and then letting the occasional special person in and sharing the beep bark part of me that is so really seen by anyone and it seems like the ones i let in the furthest are the ones that run the furthest after it'a all over,

So i'm sorry if i'm a little hesitant the let you met that other me, the me that my cat knows the me that the forest knows, the me that comes alive at night,the me that loves to blog, regardless of who is actually reading, the me that the see listening to the ocean or at the beach in the summer (the real me) the me i wish everyone could see, but..... i hide that me, beep down inside, and as i start to love you it starts to love you to the beep down me won't to met you <3 it's really true <3 i can't wait, i just hope you stick around,

Love you <3

Cherry blossoms

beauty, happiness, peacefully watching the peddles fall around you, as they fall there soft and delicate peddles gently  touching your face, the new green spring grass, under your feet, and the beautiful vibrant  blue sky above your head, at that moment only happy thoughts fill your head, 

You say you’re looking for happiness but when it comes to you, you run away from it. You tell yourself you don’t deserve it. There’s not much more that I can do now, the rest is up to you. Until you love yourself, you’ll never change. You’ll keep on running until you deal with today.

welcome may!

welcome may!

Is it seriously already May? wow does the time fly!

Yesterday was the perfect start to the brand new month. It was actually sunny! My family practically spent the whole day outside gardening, playing, and all that great stuff. It was like, 65 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, which is very, very, very rare where I live. Oh. My. Gosh. It was wonderful. I wore shorts for the first time in eight months. eight full months!!

Vegan

“As a vegan, I am often told that I should ‘respect [someone’s] decision to eat animals’. This can get problematic, because that is the antithesis of veganism as an ideal. I will elaborate, but first, lets look at what the word “respect” really means, because I think that often it is misused in this context. If the person truly understood what veganism was, and had a full understanding of the meaning of respect, then they might get why the two can not be used together that way.”

—	Chris Poupart (via thevegancheese)

So you know that shitty feeling when you try to fix a relationship so many times, but it turns out that you've been kidding yourself, and you were really the only one in the relationship this hole time? (if you have not experienced, this kind of pain, please go hug your best friend <3 for me, because right now, i would do anything for that privilege) it's been a year cents are drifting began,  you were on one island and i was on another, and the only thing keeping us in contact was me desperately trying to build a bridge and right when i finished it,  and take the firs steps towards you,  you would light it up under my feet and then we were back at stage one, but for some resin i keep trying, i never gave up on us not event for a second, up tell now, i can take a lot, i did take a lot, but you looked me in the eye and sad, " i don't care if i ever see you again" and i know that's because of your depression, and you've told me that before, but i just always thought i could help you, but, i guess that terrible old saying is true  "you can't help someone that dose not won't to be helped" i fell like i should try harder, something new, something know one has tried yet, but every time it comes back to, you telling me " i just don't care, nothing matters to me anymore"

so now it's time to start moving on, they tell you to "let go" "move on" "you'll get over it" but the truth is....... i'll never get over it, it's part of me, i don't won't to "get over it"   and i'm certainly not trying to forget it, i hope i never forget it, all though this year has been so very painful, there were so many great years, that i hope i will never forget <3 i will always love you, i can't help it, it's kinda my default setting, once my heart get's attached, it never lets go, no mater how many times my brain says " your only going you get more pain,

i'm never going to let you go. you cant give up this easy. i love you and i need you. it hurts me to see you hurt yourself like this. you're my bestfriend, you're perfect. you are to good for all this bs. please dont leave me.

I don't like the memories because the tears come easily, and once again I break my promise to myself for this day it's a constant Battle. A war between remembering And forgetting

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 

Bob Marley

Holding hands

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing, the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said: ”All I want to do is hold your hand.”

it makes me sick to think i'll never talk to you again

im never going to let you go. you cant give up this easy. i love you and i need you. it hurts me to see you hurt yourself like this. you're my bestfriend, you're perfect. you are to good for all this bs. please dont leave me.

So I have 1001 days left of being a kid, and then it's all over, having someone to look over you, or some you can blame all your problems on, and be pissed of at when you have to ask before you go out of the house, and asks you what are you were are you going, just incase you get lost or in a car ascend even if your parent don't care about you half as much as they should, and trust me i'm know stranger to abandonment and pain, but i'm just so sad that i've been trying so hard to get my parent out of my life, so i could have my freedom like when i started cleaning my room and launder and buying my own stuff because i wonted to fell responsible  when i was 10, and when i started being vegetarian at 11 and started cooked most all of my food, and stared caring more about saving gas, and money then hanging out with my friend, and having fun, that i just wonted to be "free" and happy, like they say high school will be the worst and best times of your life, but i've only seen the worst! but it sucks friend are lost, hearts are broken beyond repair, and the worsted part is you feel like your all along, and you usually are :( cuz every only has so much time, and if you a "needy teen" as my mom would put it, then you'll just have to suck it up, all i ever wonted was just for someone to tack the time to get to now me, it would make all the difference, oh back then it was fun, to play the responsible grown up  11 years old it was all so fun if only i could tell myself, but i can't. so i'm gonna try to help future self, DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!!! BECAUSE !NOTHING! LAST FOREVER
so life each moment like your last love life and just don't give a shit about the little stuff, it fucking docent mater! forget about it! just do what makes you happy do what you love <3 and have a good day

Have you ever felt?

xchristynguyen:

Like you don’t know what’s going on anymore. Like you don’t care about anything anymore. You’ve lost motivation to do anything. Your mind is set on too many things that you are confused about your feelings, and you can’t explain how you feel either. The feeling of emptiness, and feeling that barely anyone is there for you. Feeling that no one understands you anymore. And it seems like there is nothing to look forward to anymore.

I know I’m right where I belong But sometimes when I’m not that strong… I Wish I’d done a little bit more.

… I’m not completely sure of what i want with my life actually, and I still feel that emptiness sometimes but what I know  now is that , this life right now is what i want, this is what I decided to be, this life that I’m living right now, the person that I am, the place where I live, the people I am with, the job I have and everything that I achieved and total of all that is happening in my life right now…this is it! this I what I want with my life. I want to accept it as it is. there maybe something more that I desire or need but i will deal with it everyday, and work for it.  i was blinded to look too much about  what i want with my life, without realizing that I have so much more to be thankful for, that my life is the life that I want to be. And right now whatever comes my way I am okay with it:)

http://uncomfortablesoul.com/

i've always been bad at making decisions

So i've come to a point in my life, were i have a big decision to make, there's going to be some big changes, i know you like me and you know i like you,  but we have been hiding this scary fact for far to long, but now that the door has been blown open, and were ready to go,  i'm just not shore if i'm in love with you? or with the idea of you.

 10 ways to tell if you’re in love ♥♥

1. You always think about them during the day and always dream about them during the night.

2. When you found youself smiling for no reason…..then you realized I was thinking about you.

3. You get butterflies everytime you see/think or hear them ♥

4. When you can be absolutely happy, like nothing else maters :) ♥

5. You love them for who they are x

6. You log on facebook/msn just to see if they are online x

7. You get protective when other people mention him/her x

8. Whenever you are with them, nothing else in the world matters x

9. They choose them over your freinds and always try your best to be around them x

10. You care about there safety more than yours

Well today was a sad day, it was like any ordinary day, but a friend was lost,
not to death, or distance, but to depression, and the complications of life,  depression has changed, my best friend, so much, if i look into your eyes, i can't even't see her that lovely happy beautiful girl i know and love so much, is completely gone, i hear your words, but there not yours, it's that depression, it's got you all rapped up, and know mater how many times i try to get you out of it's grasp, it will not let go, it's stronger then you, it's stronger then me, and the more i try to get you out, the more it starts to get a hold of me, you were so happy before the depression got you, at dragged you under, tell you could not breathe, until you had know hope, and now your gone and no mater what i do, i can't get you back, and it's starting to get me to, and i don't won't to end up like you, so i'll have to run from you, if you ever escape, the deathly grasp it has on you, and you can fell again, and your willing to try, i'll be there. but i'm starting to lose myself, well trying to help you find yourself,



 but she completely gone and i don't even't know why or how, the past year of my life has been a very bad one indeed, I've been in so much pain, but people change, and at what point do you give up on someone? i don't won't to give up but i can only handle a one sided relationship for so long, and if she can tell's me, "i never won't to talk to you again " and i still hang on for a year after that, and i try everything to try to get you to talk to me and you never even't tried, i guess i'll have to say good by, may life treat you well,

say i love you before it's to late

 for who ever comes to your mind when you read this, call them text them Skype them Emil them, or just say "hi" next time you see them, you know you still care about them, because your thinking about them right now :P

ill love you forever and always

There will come a time when you’re infatuated with a single soul. For this person, you’d do anything, and not think twice about it. But when asked why, you have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how he can affect you as much as he does. But you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly you hate it, or how much it hurts, you will love this person without regrets, for the rest of your life.

i'll alway won't you

No matter how much you force a compass to point where you want, it will always point north when left alone. Here I am, alone, and all I do is point towards you.

how alone are you.

Insomnia is a kind of torture. Because while the world is fast asleep, you’re up all alone, your mind buzzing with every random thought in the universe. And sometimes, the thoughts will reach a standstill, and your mind goes blank. You become more aware of the silence. And it is during this moment that you realize how alone you are.

I want to disappear

I just want to run. I want to disappear. I want to be someone else. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I want to give up. I want you back. I want to tell you you’re an ass. I want to punch you in the face. I want to be happy. I want to let you go. I want to tell you I love you and not cry. I want to tell you I miss you so much. I want to stop crying. I want to stop being sad. I want to tell you what’s on my mind. I want to be able to live without you. I want to live with you.

NELSON BC

i know it sounds stupid, but out of all of the places in the would i won't to live there, and it's not event because of the location, event though nelson is a incredibly beautiful place! that's not even't why, it's because of the people! i live 8 vary long hours from my oh so lovely friends, i miss them so much! my heart breaks every time i look at a map, and every time i leave i'm counting down the days tell i go back to visit!
and one day ( hopefully soon ) i will live there

( if your from nelson or, have ever been to nelson, you'll enjoy these photo's)

but until then i'll just have many online chats, and Skype calls, and lonely friday nights